Morning bible time.


Dear Sisters,
This past Saturday was the day I spoke to a small group of women on Proverbs 31 for about 4 hours. I can't tell you how nervous I get before I speak. It doesn't matter if it is a small group of women, or a large group of women. It doesn't matter if it is for one hour or for four hours. My knees still do the same thing. They jerk. My husband says he can always tell when I have a speaking engagement coming up because I will wake him up with my knee jerks. I can't help it. My body betrays my mixed emotions. My body had been jerking since 2:30 a.m. this past Saturday morning. It was no surprise to me to learn on the radio recently that the topmost fear among people is the fear of public speaking. I can understand.
I want to help the ladies of God. I want to share with them all that our Father has been teaching me. But I cannot shake my jumbled nerves. They are always with me whenever I am asked to share to a group of women. So why do I do it? Well, I have set a fleece before my Father asking Him if He would have me to speak. So far, He has said "Yes" about twelve times. So I step out in faith each time that He will take me through each speaking engagement. Has He done so? Yes, each and every time. More than I can ask or even think.
But I have to admit, it has not been easy. Not at all. In fact, when I finished this last speaking engagement, it seemed as if my whole life looked easier after having completed 4 hours of teaching. It is the longest I have ever spoken. Homeschooling looked easier. Homemaking looked easier. Even our goat that rejected her baby, and all that goes along with that, looked easier. Everything, absolutely everything, looked easier! And I begged my Father to hide me and not send me out again. Why? Because I had been "stretched." It is never pleasant to be stretched. But it is, oh, so very necessary for growing strong. I believe we parents call it "growing pains."
"The Words of the LORD are pure Words; as silver tried in a furnace on the earth, refined seven times." Psalm 12:6
When a runner is trying to increase his speed or the length of his run, he will very often go a little bit farther or a little bit faster. It hurts at the moment, but in the long run he will be able to do more than he did at first. And after a race is completed and he has crossed the finish line going faster than he ever did before, he realizes "stretching himself" was well worth it. He is refined, so to speak, by the pain or difficulty he endured.
So after I asked my Father to hide me and not send me out again, I repented and told Him I was sorry. I rested once again in His will for me. Now you are probably wondering, why is she telling me all this? Because years ago the LORD brought me to a point where I felt very, very stretched. He brought me to a point in my life where I committed my early mornings to Him, that I might know Him more intimately and fall in love with His Son. Oh, it did hurt to make that early morning commitment. Was it profitable? More than I can say. More than I can say. 
"At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place." Luke 4:42
"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed." Mark 1:35
I have been asked quite frequently in the past few weeks how I have managed to get up early when I was not a morning person by nature. Well, I have to admit, it was not easy at first. For one thing, I did not even have the desire to get up early. I had never seen "the rising before dawn" on purpose in my life, until six years ago. But I did know that I did not know God as I should. That was very evident in my life.
If there was a crisis, I was there beside Him. Begging for help. But if everything was going swimmingly along, then I didn't think of Him much. Except on Sundays. Oh, Sundays hurt. For it was then that I was reminded anew that my most important relationship was with Jesus Christ, my LORD. And how was I doing this week, the pastor would ask? How much time had I spent in prayer and Bible reading? That's when it hurt the most... every Sunday. For I had often spent very little time with Him.
"Thou wilt make known to me the path of life; in Thy Presence is fulness of joy; in Thy Right Hand there are pleasures forever." Psalm 16:11
Then I had a major crisis in my life. One that would change me forever. For in the middle of that crisis, I promised the LORD that I would get up early and get to know Him better. I had made the promise during my pain, but it was not an easy one to keep. As I said before, I was not a morning person. In fact, I was a practiced sleeper. So what did I do?
"Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare." Proverbs 20:13
Well, I bought a coffee maker that automatically went off at 3:45 a.m. This was my first investment in getting up early. By 4:00 a.m., my alarm would go off very quietly playing beautiful Christian music. (My second investment bought at a garage sale.) I knew that my coffee was hot and waiting for me. How was I doing? Oh, not too good. I would lay there and beg the LORD to help me get up. Over and over in my mind would come these Words, "She rises before dawn..." Those were His Words to me. My words to Him back were, "Help!" My body was always working against me. I had been up several times the night before with a three week old nursing newborn. This had to be the worse time in my life to implement a new early morning practice. I was so tired from the day before with my other three small children, two of whom I homeschooled. I really wished I had never made the promise. But I feared God more than I can say, and I knew a promise to Him was no small thing. It was to be kept.
So I got up. And I got up. And I got up. As Paul says, "I made my body my slave." Each and every day, I got up. Just like this morning, six years later, I got up. I really don't have any secret to share concerning training myself to be an early morning riser, other than this deep, deep desire 
to know Him more and to listen to Him talk when all was quiet and we were alone. A desire that I begged Him to give to me.
I have fallen in love with His Word. "And The Word became flesh and dwelt among us." Falling in love with His Word is falling in love with Him. And even though I was tired this morning, and it felt so warm in bed, I knew that sitting alone with Him would far outweigh any other warmth. The early morning hour is ours, and I cling to Him like no Other in that hour. For He is changing my heart daily with His incredible love.
Never is there any time so still as our early morning together. Never is there any other time where I know I can be alone with Him. No matter where I go, no one wants this early morning hour with me. Except Him. So I am assured we will be together. No one calls me. No one visits me. If I visit my inlaws and spend the night, I can still be alone with Him at this hour, for again, no one wants me at this time. I have learned it is a beautiful, beautiful time for "being still and knowing that He is God." And after sitting in His Presence in the still of the morning, I am far more ready to walk through my day in His Spirit. Just like Mary Magdalene sought Him so many, many years ago in an early morning hour:
"Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance." John 20:1
I am not the first woman who has sought Him out early in a morning before the sun was up. And I will not be the last. But I definitely cling to Him just like Mary Magdalene did so many years ago. Is it easier for me to get up now than it was six years ago? Yes. I have been "stretching" myself in this area for some time; and it was far easier today to get up than it was at this time six years ago. Also I have seen the beauty of "being still" each morning and knowing that He is God. It is truly the most blessed time of my day.

So, will I someday get used to speaking, should He continue to have me speak? I don't know. I am still tired when I first wake up every morning to roll out of bed and seek His Face. So, perhaps, I will still be nervous to share His Word with a room full of women. But one thing I do know. He is stretching me for my own good, and He can be trusted to grow me strong in His Likeness. So I will continue to walk by faith, and not by sight. I will continue to get up and seek His Beautiful Face. And I will continue to speak through the Spirit of the One Who made my mouth.
"Whoever serves, let "her" do so by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to Whom belongs the glory and dominion forever." 1 Peter 4:11b
Are we being stretched? You bet. ~Smile~ To the praise and glory of His Name!

Love, Laine 

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