Through The Deepest Sorrow and Swirling Storm

Dear Sisters,
It has been a tough week. One of our favorite marriages has cancer. Each week that has passed in the last two months have revealed worsening and worsening conditions. But this week was the worse. The cancer is widespread now and threatening to shut down "the body." It has affected our family greatly because not only are these some of our closest friends, they are also our close family. We have prayed without ceasing. We have cried. We have pleaded. We have counseled. We have watched their children. We have even sent flowers. But one of the members of the body refuses treatment. So the cancer continues to spread at an alarming rate.
There were times when the phone rang that I just cried out to God for mercy as I answered it. Especially in the very early morning. For I knew then that it was not good news. And it usually wasn't.
Every day that things got worse, I thanked the LORD once again that He let me sit at His Feet and soak up His Word before hearing all these painful words. Because even in the midst of this great sorrow, which has seemed overwhelming at times, He gave me enough strength for the day. I cannot thank Him or praise Him enough.
I've learned so much from God's Word these past two months. It was His Word that refreshed me and comforted me like no other. Through His Word I found that I could pray and cry out to Him in a way that released what was crushing my heart. I was never sorry that I cut short some of my sleep and started out my day with Him. For His strength carried me through sorrow after sorrow coupled with the "each day has enough trouble of its own" difficulties.
There were times also when I did not know what to do in a certain situation these last few weeks. Again I cried out to God. Twice He has delivered me from something I was not sure I could handle. But I trusted God and knew that if I had to go through this certain situation, He would give me the strength and show me the way. I reminded Him that I was His maidservant (really I reminded myself) and that I wanted only His will. So I knew I could trust Him. God is my strength, my strength, my strength. Even in sorrow.
"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad." Proverbs 12:25
Yes, this is so true. If I keep my eyes on the problem it can easily make me depressed, because it is a seemingly terminal diagnosis. But when I feast on the Good Word daily, it makes my heart glad even in the midst of terrible struggles. Instead of just seeing the problem, I tend to focus more on the power of God.
"Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge; for it is a pleasant thing if you keep them within you; let them all be fixed upon your lips, so that your trust may be in the LORD; I have instructed you today, even you. Have I not written you excellent things of counsels and knowledge, that I may make you know the certainty of the Words of Truth, that you may answer Words of Truth to those who send to you?" Proverbs 22: 17-21
" I have instructed you today, even you!"
"Have I not written you excellent things of counsels and knowledge, that I may make you know the certainty of the Words of Truth!"
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. That is just what He did for me. The sorrows would come in wave after wave, sometimes more than once a day. But The Rock within me kept me standing. Not only did He keep me standing, but He also kept me praising and thanking Him all the day.
Our God is a God Who hears. His love is immeasurable. He has answered me in new ways during this crisis. In fact, in the past twenty four hours I have seen His Hand move four times for me. I cannot stop thanking and praising His Beautiful, Beautiful Name! He is a God Who hears His children and bends down to draw them into His Arms. I will never get over His love and His mercy. Praise His Holy, Holy Name!
Yes, the marriage still has a seemingly incurable cancer. But my Father's Arm is not too short to save.
"He who heeds The Word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he." Proverbs 16:20
Yes! Yes! Yes!
"Pleasant Words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
Yes, yes, yes!
Over and over I have told my husband that I could never go through something this painful in such peace if I did not bend my soul to His Word each morning. His Presence, His Word, His Awesome Breath of Life does more for me than my necessary food and my necessary sleep.
"The Words of the pure are pleasant." Proverbs 15:26b
Yes, oh, yes.
"The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and a good report makes the bones healthy." Proverbs 15:30
Again yes!
I know of no other Light that rejoices my heart more than the Living Word of God. And each morning His good report keeps me going all the day.
"I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me." Proverbs 8:17
Counsel is mine, and sound wisdom; I am understanding, I have strength." Proverbs 7:14
"Diligence is man's precious possession." Proverbs 12:27b
If there is one thing I hope and pray you will learn from me, it is to persevere in the Word of God. Keep showing up. Day by day. Diligently seeking Him no matter where you are, or who you are with, or what you are going through. Desire His Presence and His Word more than any other presence or any other words in your day. I have been doing so for many years now, and He has literally transformed my life. He has turned my fears into faith; my guilt into grace; my pride into praise; my claims into Christ, and now my sorrows into strength.
"For the LORD gives wisdom; from His Mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6
"When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet." Proverbs 3:24
"For the LORD will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 3:26
How I love being His maidservant! No good thing has He withheld from me. My life is at His Feet and I am so grateful for My Rock, my daily strength. May He be glorified over and over and over in me, my beautiful King. His secret place is where I long for each day.
"His secret counsel is with the upright." Proverbs 3:32a
"...and your Father Who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly." Matthew 6:4a
"But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father Who is in the secret place, and your Father Who sees in secret will reward you openly." Matthew 6:6
"...but to your Father Who is in the secret place..." Matthew 6:18b
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21
My heart's treasure is in "the secret place" and my life is bound with His "secret counsel." I hunger for the Holy of Holies and hide myself continually under His Wing.
"The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light." Matthew 6:22
His Word is my daily Lamp. I can testify, even in sorrow, that I have never known such strength. I am so very glad that I have asked Jesus to live in me with His Father and to help me keep His Word by His Holy Helper that He might be honored. True, true Life.
"If anyone loves Me, he will keep My Word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to Him and make Our Home with him." John 14:23
"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My Name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you." John 14:26
These are precious promises that keep me standing. May I be "the keeper of His Word" all the days of my eternal life. His Home is here in me, and I can't get over such grace and peace. The Holy of Holies residing in a humble, helpless, human heart covered by His shed blood on the cross. It is more of a miracle than what He did in the tent or in the temple in the Old Testament. I can't bow down and trust Him enough. As I have prayed before, may I kiss His nail pierced feet with my life and may my prayers be a sweet incense rising up to His Throne of Grace. It is the sweetest sacrifice of all.
Strength in sorrow. It is possible.
Love,
Laine

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