Grumbling and Stumbling

Dear Sisters,
My children and I have been studying Exodus and all the wonderful details given by God about His Chosen Nation. I love to study the Word of God with my children. I think they know how much I love God's Word; and they tend to get caught up in the excitement of it with me. So often I tell them that this world will pass away, but His Word will never pass away. Therefore the most important thing I hold in my hands every day is His Eternal Word. The most important thing I teach my children is His Eternal Word. Everything else is temporary. Everything else will pass away. But the Word of Life is just that: Living Words which will never pass away.
I started teaching them God's Word every day many years ago. I remember feeling very inadequate at it, for I had just begun to read it myself. But over and over again I could hear the Living Words in my ear:
"You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." Deuteronomy 11:19
"My son, do not forsake the teaching of your mother." Proverbs 6:20b
I found that when I faithfully taught them while sitting in my house, then they were more inclined to ask questions concerning The Word while we walked along the road and when we lay down, thus enabling me to speak more with them about their Heavenly Father throughout our day. Upon rising I play beautiful music which carries His Word on wings of praise down the hall to their bedrooms. Such a peaceful way to wake up.
Inevitably when we sat down to read and study God's Word together, there would be some interruption: the phone would ring, the dogs would start barking, or someone would be at the door. I remember getting so frustrated one day and decided then and there that this must be a very important work, for someone (and we all know who) was trying to disrupt this important time of study. I got more determined. I shut the phone off. I started off in prayer with my children that the LORD would teach us and keep us focused. Many times my children would ask for no interruptions. Guess what? No interruptions. If we did get one, we settled it and went right back to studying.
Over the years of studying God's Word with my children, I am not sure who has learned more: them or me. Over and over I would glean something new that I had just not seen before. It was amazing. And exciting.
Take today, for instance. We were in Numbers. We were observing the children of Israel grumbling for the tenth time against the LORD. This time even considering stoning Moses and Aaron. (Numbers 14) As I was teaching my children this passage, I said to them, "Grumbling causes stumbling. Soon you will see that all this grumbling is going to cause a major stumbling for the children of Israel, as they will not go into the Promised Land for forty more years.
I talked to my children about the futility of grumbling. I spoke to them about grumbling against their parents or those in authority over them, just as the children of Israel grumbled against Moses; their grumble was really against God Who had put them under this authority. I talked to them about grumbling about their chores or their school work. Just like the Israelites grumbled about their desert life, even though they lacked for nothing. Again, if they grumbled, it would inevitably cause stumbling in their life for they would be punished - just as the Children of Israel were by their Heavenly Father.
When we were done our study I was still thinking about that passage. That is how the Word of God works. ~Smile~ You keep "feeding" long after the "reading." And I was thinking how patient God was with the children of Israel. He allowed them to grumble 10 times before turning them back from the Promised Land for forty years. Why was their grumbling so heartwrenching to Him? Because to those whom He has given much, much is required. And the children of Israel had been given a lot. Their eyes had seen the Hand of God in incredible new ways.
"How long shall I bear with this evil congregation who are grumbling against Me? I have heard the complaints of the sons of Israel, which they are making against Me." Numbers 14:27
Listen to some of those complaints against The Hand that had caused great calamity against their Egyptian Masters, while covering them in great compassion by parting the Red Sea like a long, dry hallway for them to safely walk across; feeding them with the bread of the angels; walking before them in cloud of fire by night; and giving them water from a rock, just to name a few. Yet they grumbled and complained:
"Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would that we had died in this wilderness! And why is the LORD bringing us into this land, to fall by the sword? Our wives and our little ones will become plunder, would it not be better for us to return to Egypt? So they said to one another, 'Let us appoint a leader and return to Egypt.'" Numbers 14:2-4
I thought to myself, how could they do that after all the LORD did for them? Then it hit me. I, too, had done the same thing in my life! Oh, how the LORD had worked in my life. I had seen His Hand in healing my parent's marriage; in bringing me to know Him during my pain as a young child; in leading me in compassion to marry my Art; in the miraculous healing of my three week old son on death's doorstep; and in so many, many other ways too numerous to mention, but not too insignificant to forget. I had seen His Hand! Yet, I had also grumbled afterwards when things had not gone my way.
I remembered when I grumbled regularly about my husband. Why couldn't God change him the way I wanted him to be? A little faster. ~Smile~ I remembered when I regularly grumbled about my children. Why couldn't they act the way I wanted them to? Or my health. Why did I have to get sick just now? Why did we have this financial burden just now? Was I so different from the children of Israel? I am afraid not. His Hand had been leading me all along, but when things did not go my way, I, too, grumbled about my leadership and the way my life was going. I know it was grumbling, for I did not react in faith with my hand gripped in my Father's Hand while looking up to Him for direction. My eyes were down here on my insurmountable problem which prompted me to react in fear. Fear wants to go back, rather than forward. Just like the Children of Israel wanted to return to Egypt, rather than trust their God to "pull down the mountains" in front of them. Was I stumbling like them? You bet.
But God, my Father, Who never changes and Who is compassionate beyond measure drew me round to look up at Him. Oh, He used pain in my life, much like we would grab our child's arm firmly and cause them to look up at us and pay close attention. I paid close attention to what He said, because He caught me in a grip of pain. And I humbled myself under His Mighty Hand.
Where grumbling causes stumbling, major humbling moves the Heart of God in great compassion. Take a look at Moses and Aaron:
"Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces in the presence of all the assembly of the congregation of the sons of Israel." Numbers 14:5
Fell on their faces. They didn't care what everyone thought, they humbled themselves under God's Mighty Hand, and pleaded for those that were the very ones who wanted to stone them. I thought about that. I thought about what God said concerning Moses, "the most humble man on the face of the earth." God listens to the humble heart. God reveals Himself to the humble heart. The humble heart cries out for God's mercy, in spite of their inner pain given to them by the very ones they are trying their best to help. Just as Jesus did from the cross when He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Oh, how I wanted to know Him and to love Him, and to have that kind of love flowing through me. I realized it is only possible through a meek and gentle spirit (a.k.a. humble), which is so precious in His sight. No wonder it is so precious in His sight; He can love so much through such a woman devoted to Him. God speaks to Moses:
'I have pardoned them according to your word; but indeed as I live, all the earth will be filled with the glory of the LORD."
God hears the humble heart, and forgives, forgives, forgives. I find that over and over in the Word of God. I remember so well my first morning of humbling. I had been a Christian for many, many years, but I knew something was dreadfully wrong. I bowed before the LORD in humility and asked Him to help me know Him as He truly was, and not as I perceived Him to be. I asked Him to help me love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I asked Him to help me be the wife and mother and homemaker that He wanted me to be. I humbled myself every morning under His Mighty Hand, to this day.
Slowly, so slowly He began to do His work in me. Oh, at first I didn't see anything significant. (Much like we don't realize our children have grown until someone mentions it.) Then I realized that spending time with Him each day was changing me more than I realized. For one thing, the grumbling was turning into thanksgiving. The stumbling was turning into clinging to My Father's Hand. And the humbling was ever continuing with my reputation flat at the foot of the cross.
What happened with my relationship with God? It is a sweet intimacy that gets sweeter every day. It is a clinging to Him that I might not grumble and stumble, for I do not trust myself apart from my Father's Hand.
What happened to my family? Well, I decided to enjoy my marriage as God intended. I stopped focusing on my husband's weaknesses and started focusing on his many strengths. Guess who got stronger? ~Smile~ I also decided I would become a Jewish Mama. What is that you ask? Well, a Jewish Mama is her children's best cheerleader. Where I use to complain about my children, I now built them up with my words, speaking of their strengths rather than their weaknesses. Guess who got stronger?
What happened to my home? I stopped grumbling that I could never do this or do that because of my lack in this or my lack in that. Instead I decided to take God at His Word and believe that He could do through me the impossible: Proverbs 31. Guess what got stronger?
Grumbling causes stumbling, without a doubt. Humbling moves the Heart of God. May His Heart be moved by our hearts devoted to Him to the glory and praise of His Name!
Love,
Laine