An Interview With Joy About Criticism

Dear Sisters,
"And on her tongue is the law of kindness." Proverbs 31:26b
Often I will have up a young homemaker to my home. We'll sit and have tea together while she asks me questions concerning homemaking. Today Joy has come for a visit. Won't you join us? Here is a cool glass of ice tea and a molasses cookie. I hope you're comfortable. ~Smile~ Now how can I help you, Joy?
Joy: Laine, thanks so much for having us over.
Laine: I'm glad you could come!
Joy: We've talked some over the phone, and I enjoy reading your e-mail homemaking devotions. But it is great to sit together face to face.
Laine: Yes, you are so right, Joy. I often think how great it will be to sit across from Jesus face to face. For I have talked to Him a lot and read His Words with heartfelt devotion, but one day I will see Him with my actual eyes!
Joy: Amen! Do you enjoy writing the devotions for homemakers?
Laine: Yes. Most of the time it is a true joy. I love sharing with homemakers what He has been so graciously teaching me from His Word and in the management of my home.
Joy: Most of the time?
Laine: Well, sometimes it can be a painful job. And if I was not sure that He had absolutely called me to do it, I would just want to practice my homemaking. ~Smile~ But I know He has insurmountable strength, and I can do all things through Christ Jesus Who strengthens me.
Joy: Why is it painful sometimes?
Laine: There are times when a woman will not look at the spirit of a letter I have written, but will take a portion out of it and claim I am doing something that I would never dream of--totally contrary to His Word. It especially hurts when I receive a letter from a woman that I have never heard of but who has been receiving my letters for some time.
Joy: Why does it hurt more from a woman that you've never heard of?
Laine: Because they will usually start their letter with how much they have learned from my writings. So they know me and my heart. Then they will begin their claims. I find this especially sad because not once have these women wrote to thank me for my writings or even one kind word. But they find it necessary to write and chastise me.
Joy: Hmmm.
Laine: You see, Joy, we are all one body. Sisters in Christ. When I write, I write for other women's strength that His Body might be strong and that He might be glorified as taught in Titus 2. I pray constantly that I will not write anything that would bring Him shame. I pray that I will only write when He wants me to write and that my writing will be founded on His Word. I cannot tell you how very seriously I take it that I am teaching His Chosen women. I also have a private list of women that I send my writings out to. We need each other, Joy. Each part of the Body is so important. My job and your job is to serve others for His Strength. And when a woman writes to me, who I have never heard of, with words like, "I have been receiving your letters for some time. I have learned so much from you. But..." I know what is going to follow. Criticism.
Joy: How do you handle it, Laine?
Laine: I pray for that woman, and then I pray what to write back. You see, if that woman had been writing an occasional note to me of thanks or some kind words, I would pay a lot more attention to what she had to say. I have had women write to me in such a way, and we've had wonderful communication together. They have made me think harder. For I know their love first. The Bible says we need wounds from a friend to grow. They are friends by their previous kind letters. However, most of my letters of criticism are from women who have received my writings for some time, but never found it necessary to write to me until they disagreed with me. This tells me a lot about their character.
Joy: What do you mean?
Laine: A thankful and kind spirit is the gracious essence of a woman of God. It is "quiet and gentle" in action, which is precious in His Sight. It take two minutes to click the reply button and thank a woman for sending me something that helped me in my homemaking or spiritual walk. Sometimes it is a recipe, sometimes it is a letter that has encouraged me, sometimes it is an admonition. No, we can't possibly thank everyone, but if someone has been "feeding you" the good things of His Word for some time, then let that person know. I can guarantee they need to hear it. Especially our dear pastors. I love to write my pastor an occasional note to say how much I am learning from him and to thank him for his teaching. I have done that with our worship leader, my son's youth pastor, our women's ministry leader, the doctor who delivered my babies, my old pastor, and so many others that have blessed my life by making me stronger in Christ Jesus. Or stronger physically, or emotionally. Yesterday I thanked the girl who bagged my groceries. I can guarantee that if I graciously thank the people who serve me, they will be more apt to listen to me if I have a problem. As Christians we serve each other in the Body of Christ and especially need to be more gracious and loving to one another.
Joy: Yes, it's true.
Laine: I remember going to a seminar by Emile Barnes years ago. Before I went I received one of her books. It helped me so much. So I wrote to her a letter of thanks. She responded! This gracious, loving woman, who is very busy, wrote me a lovely handwritten note back. This tells me a lot about her character. I tucked it away in her book for my daughter some day. What was sad to me, though, was at the seminar, during the break, two young women were criticizing Emile's teaching. They didn't know she was right behind them. Oh, the pain I felt for her. This woman is our Sister in Christ. She was trying to teach us to better manage our homes. It is a good work she is doing for younger women. She wasn't teaching anything evil. On the contrary! And here were these young women closed to her wise counsel and wallowing in criticism. Joy: Are those ears that do not hear?
Laine: Yes, Joy. They are ears that listen to defend themselves or to criticize the one teaching good things. Who does that remind you of?
Joy: The Pharisees.
Laine: Yes. The heart of the Pharisees was not to learn, but to find fault. Why? What was at the base of their faultfinding?
Joy: Jealousy.
Laine: Yes. There is nothing worse than jealousy lurking in our hearts. For a jealous heart cannot learn. It is a closed heart. A heart that will only complain and criticize while continuing on in complacency. I know too well because I use to have one of these hearts. Now I ask that He might capture my every thought and make it give up and obey Christ. Joy, I have never learned more!
Joy: It's been so good talking with you, Laine. Can I come back soon?
Laine: Sure! I'd enjoy that.
I hope you'll come back, too. ~Smile