Remedy a purse with holes in it

Dear Sisters,

Years ago my parents came to me with a problem and asked for my help. They were over $8500 in debt and worried that they would see their debt hit $10,000 before the year was out. Their spending was out of control.

I live next to my parents and felt so bad when they told me of their problem. Our bills were pretty much identical at the time, and I knew my dad was bringing home more than twice what my husband was bringing home. So what was the problem? The problem was not the amount coming in (it never usually is), it was how the amount was going out. The Bible calls it a "purse with holes in it."

My dad asked me if I would take over their finances. I told my dad that I would take over their finances if I could have full control. They would have to give me all their charge cards and their check book. They would have to work on a cash only basis for personal spending. And they would have to follow the budget that I drew up for them. My dad and mom agreed.

It was not easy. Basically what I did was to put my parents on a financial diet. And any diet, as you know, is not easy. It is especially hard to be in charge of your parent's finances, but I knew that if I did not help them they would dig a deeper and deeper pit. My father had a harder time on the weekends when his spending was curbed. My mother had a hard time during the week. I had a hard time the whole time for awhile! My mother would show me her white roots and ask me to write her a check for hair coloring. It was hard to say, "Mom, you'll have to wait for your food budget money next week." Needless to say, we had a lot of interesting conversations around here.

I managed my parent's money for a year and a half. At the end of the year and a half, their debt was paid off and they had $2500 in savings. After practicing wise spending for a year and a half, they were now ready to take over their finances again. They have been doing great since I handed it back to them years ago. How did I change their spending habits?

I managed their finances from the principles taught in the Word of God on money. What are those principles? Basically, God first and foremost. Next, save a little at a time for the future. And, lastly, ask God for help in wisely utilizing the rest that He might be glorified. So, the first thing I did was to tithe from every check. I put God first and foremost in their finances. My father also took care of my grandmother every month. I knew this was right out of the Word of God, so it was always a pleasure to write that check behind the tithe. My parents also gave to a missionary group. I wrote that check as well with great pleasure.

The next thing I did was to cut down their spending on food and personal items. My mother spent more on two people than we did on our family of five (at the time). I helped her to see that she would have to cook more from scratch and shop wisely to stretch her food budget money. She began to use coupons with great relish, shopped and cooked from store specials, and sent in for refunds as well.

I also cut down on their long distance calling. They spent quite a bit on phoning family and friends. I put a limit on their long distance calling to $30 a month. Both of my parents got a phone allowance, a gas allowance, and a personal allowance. Their personal allowance was very small at the beginning until I began to see their debt decrease dramatically. Their gas allowance was also quite small, which necessitated them staying home more. The more they stayed home, the less they spent.

I did not put much into their savings until I paid off their debt. My goal was to get their debt paid off as quickly as possible. The Bible calls debt "slavery" and I wanted to help free them as fast as I could. So every chance I got, I sent in a double or more payment on their credit cards. I also worked on paying off their car loan at the same time.

Since I did their financial planning for over a year, Christmas came during their "financial diet." My parents learned to shop at thrift shops and bought almost everything that year from a thrift shop. I don't think they ever had more fun. To this day, pretty much everything they buy for Christmas is from a thrift shop. We love their well chosen, frugal gifts.

It was very humbling, I am sure, for my dad to come to his daughter for help with his finances. But that is what I love about my dad, he is not afraid nor too proud to ask for help. People who are not afraid nor too proud to ask for help usually get it. And I am glad that he felt he could ask me for it. I poured my heart out for them in fixing their finances. It was a great day of joy when I handed them back their records on the plus side with their car paid off. They bought me a beautiful, antique, steamer trunk to say," thank you." I keep it open in my living room holding an old photo of my grandmother in her wedding dress with a bouquet of white lilies in her arms. Of course, my parents bought the steamer trunk at a garage sale for a great price. ~Smile~

"He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored." Proverbs 13:18

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

Love,

Laine